Sunday, June 15, 2008

Reasons to visit Spanish Fork

I wrote this a while ago when I was really bored, and I fell that it deserves an encor presentation:

Reason’s to visit Amy in Spanish Fork:

1. Despite the name, the town has no Latino leanings. This brings a copious amount of puns to the local culture. Delight in heading to the local movie theater, Spanish 8, and asking the clerk "wouldn’t Spanish 8 just be Ocho??"
2. The Icelandic Memorial. I know that you have asked yourself from time to time "where can I go to pay proper respects to whatever Icelandic veterans have fallen in defense of Utah and the American way of life/" Well here is your answer. The beautiful Icelandic Memorial is a small grove in the middle of suburban Spanish Fork, fully equipped with a light house and stone benches scattered artfully so you can ponder the great works of the many famous Icelandic freedom fighters the way you have always dreamed of.
3. Johnny’s Thirst Aid Station. I know that the name alone is enough to bring a clever smile to your lips. Ha! THIRST aid! That’s rich...but it brings up even more topics of conversation when you realize that they do cater to all your hydration needs without ever leaving the comfort of your vehicle. This does seem like a revolutionary idea, one that could change the world until you ask yourself "Is a drive through that serves beer a good idea?" We may never know the answer to this, but discussing it can while away the hours as you enjoy your frosty beverage.
4. The Sri Sri Radha Krishna Temple. Man, I am tired of hearing about all the self righteous Haria Krishna’s in Utah County. I wish that the world knew us as more than just a state founded by the disciples of Lord Shiva. But, one look at this beautiful Indian inspired architecture that blends seamlessly into the landscape of the Mountain West, with llamas peacefully grazing in the forefront and you will know, this is the place indeed. With walking tours and a gift shop you may be ready bow down to the mighty bovine as well.
5. Makin Babies Doll Shop. You all have been to your local Build-A-Bear and asked yourself the same question, "Hey, this is great, but I wish they would let me craft a doll that resembled a real baby in every way...maybe I could even give it life like hair and a voice that said ‘mama’ whenever I came into the room. Then no one would stare as I carried around my baby in its ratty blanket and cooed to it while roaming the streets with my shopping cart and my tin foil helmet." Look no further! At Makin Babies you can craft your own life like child that looks, weighs, sounds, and smells just like a real infant. If the doll comes alive and slaughters you in your sleep there is a money back guarantee and everything. Probably.
6. Amy is bored. Come on, come play with me. I live in Spanish Fork. Help.


Russell Adams said...

Love ya Amy. You need a new post now okay? Love Russ.

Amy said...

I am glad you decided to blog. It isn't a scrapbook, think of it as an online journal. thats what I keep telling myself. It makes me feel better.

Kirkrocks said...

"Ocho" wouldn't bring in as many people as "the Spanish 8", I don't think. The name itself takes on all manner of mental images. I see a rogue group of bandaleros, having shoot-outs in the local saloons to get them to serve tequila as well as whiskey. Seriously, it's all in the name. Do you think that you'd get more visitors to your lovely town if they changed it from "Spanish Fork" to "Bifurcación"? Food for thought...