Sunday, June 15, 2008

My new apron

Being a somewhat incompetent homemaker in beautiful Happy Valley is a little bit intimidating for me. I try to can my own tomatoes (except that I can't seem to grow any and I don't really know how to can), and my food storage consists of a case of macaroni and cheese and some ramen noodle soup, and I have never ever gone visiting teaching with a hand crafted refridgerator magnet with some sort of inspirational thought to share. So, on the whole, i would rate myself as a 4 out of 10 on the scale of Mormon Housewife successfulness.

Last week this all changed. I bought an apron. You didn't see that coming did you. It is stunning and just so wrong it is brilliant. I saw it on a kiosk in the middle of University Mall while I was wandering aimlessly waiting for Charlie do be done at the dentist. In it I feel like a derranged housewife from the early sixties and I am compelled to wear kitten heals and flounce about a bit with a feather duster. My life has been changed, I am now on par with Donna Reed and June Cleaver. They would recognize me as one of their own. My house is still a mess and smells vaguely of old fishsticks, but none of this matters when I wear my Apron (yes, it deserves a capital A).

Because of my new lease on life I am committed to learn how to sew, and maybe make a jello salad that contains all the basic food groups. Folding laundry is now a joy. I swish around the living room as I vacuum. I hear strains of my own sitcom theme song as I hand my darling husband his well packed lunch and wave goodbye to him from the front door.

I can't find my camerat at this moment so I will direct you to the website that sells these magical aprons.

I hope you all find the joy and harmony with this as I have. I am always happy to share.


LPP06 said...

Amy has worn the apron faithfully and has definitely "fit in" with the other moms in the area when one day she opened the door for a neighbor friend and was wearing the cherry apron. They now call her for tips or just to go out and let the kids play together. :)

Kirkrocks said...

Oh, Amy. You have mastered the english language and the art of wit far too well for anyone to think of you as incompetent.

I think the words you were looking for were inept, ineffectual, perhaps even callow.

Good post, though. I'm just adding my editing skills...