Sunday, June 15, 2008

My new apron

Being a somewhat incompetent homemaker in beautiful Happy Valley is a little bit intimidating for me. I try to can my own tomatoes (except that I can't seem to grow any and I don't really know how to can), and my food storage consists of a case of macaroni and cheese and some ramen noodle soup, and I have never ever gone visiting teaching with a hand crafted refridgerator magnet with some sort of inspirational thought to share. So, on the whole, i would rate myself as a 4 out of 10 on the scale of Mormon Housewife successfulness.

Last week this all changed. I bought an apron. You didn't see that coming did you. It is stunning and just so wrong it is brilliant. I saw it on a kiosk in the middle of University Mall while I was wandering aimlessly waiting for Charlie do be done at the dentist. In it I feel like a derranged housewife from the early sixties and I am compelled to wear kitten heals and flounce about a bit with a feather duster. My life has been changed, I am now on par with Donna Reed and June Cleaver. They would recognize me as one of their own. My house is still a mess and smells vaguely of old fishsticks, but none of this matters when I wear my Apron (yes, it deserves a capital A).

Because of my new lease on life I am committed to learn how to sew, and maybe make a jello salad that contains all the basic food groups. Folding laundry is now a joy. I swish around the living room as I vacuum. I hear strains of my own sitcom theme song as I hand my darling husband his well packed lunch and wave goodbye to him from the front door.

I can't find my camerat at this moment so I will direct you to the website that sells these magical aprons.
http://flirtyaprons.com/cart/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=10&products_id=11

I hope you all find the joy and harmony with this as I have. I am always happy to share.

2 comments:

LPP06 said...

Amy has worn the apron faithfully and has definitely "fit in" with the other moms in the area when one day she opened the door for a neighbor friend and was wearing the cherry apron. They now call her for tips or just to go out and let the kids play together. :)

Kirkrocks said...

Oh, Amy. You have mastered the english language and the art of wit far too well for anyone to think of you as incompetent.

I think the words you were looking for were inept, ineffectual, perhaps even callow.

Good post, though. I'm just adding my editing skills...

-Kirk