Sunday, October 25, 2009

Hiding the Crazy

I apologize. Not for abandoning you for so long, oh faithful blog, but for unloading all the crazy that I have been trying to conceal for months now. As you know I have previously hinted that I may not be in my right mind due to all these lovely pregnancy hormones so I have mostly kept my sporadic thoughts to myself as much as possible. But today I am bored. And I can't watch one more episode of Backyardigans with Mia or I will beat my TV.

Yesterday was a fun day. It started off with Charlie getting up early with Mia so that I could sleep in (Charlie is so awesome) and then 30 seconds later my darling unborn baby started kicking me in the bladder, again, so I had to get up anyway. So, I ventured downstairs and realized that I had to clean my pigsty house up because there was a BYU football game on that night. No, I am not a crazy superstitious football fan who thinks we will lose the game if my house isn't spotless. It's just that Charlie (who is very friendly and sweet) invites people over at random to watch the game with him and I never know how many are showing up expecting a party. So, I pleaded with Charlie and Mia to help me scrub stuff. I cleaned the kitchen as they vacuumed all things that would hold still.

Then I decided to make cinnamon rolls (shut up it makes sense). Except about half way through the baking time I remembered I have a horrible cold (courtesy of stupid charlie and his germs) and I can't smell. What is the point of baked goods if you can't smell. So I screamed at the oven and decided to go hide in the shower until I calmed down. So I locked my bedroom door, and then locked my bathroom door and hopped in, enjoyed the steam and tried to chill out for a few minutes. It lasted all of 2 minutes until Mia, with a nail file in hand, picked through both locks (who taught my 4 year old to pick locks? Dang Charlie) so that she could come tell me, with her face full of fury, that her dad had sprayed her with cold water. I asked her calmly, (while inwardly chanting a soothing yogic phrase that I made up because I don't speak yogic) to tell him that was very mean and that I would be down in a few minutes to talk to both of them. She sounded satisfied that her dad was going to get in trouble and ran away (Man, I really want some seven layer bean dip right now.) Then, she came in again to say that dad was in bigger trouble now because he was tickling her when she was yelling at him. Then he came in to say that Mia was totally just trying to get him in trouble and was only crying when I was around to hear it. (I'm still in the shower at this point, trying not to scream). No wonder I am so freaked out to have another kid, I already have two of them that I can barely handle.

So, after my super relaxing shower (man I really want bean dip....I don't have any chips though. And now I am going to cry, Darn Charlie and his non-chip buying). My dad and Charlie's mom and brother showed up for the game. I served my cinnamon rolls with tears in my eyes because I wasn't even tempted to eat them. Then I got a lecture from my mother in law on random and various things such as daring to schedule my induction, delivering at the wrong hospital. Why was I so thoughtless as to breath in Charlie's germs and get a cold? Oh, and my favorite was "why on earth are you naming your daughter Elijah? How do you spell that? is it a family name? (for the record, that isn't happening, but I was having fun with this topic so I let her go on for a good 20 minutes, even arguing that Elijah was my great grandmother's name and she was an amazing woman, before Charlie decided to step in and explain that no one had even considered that name and she must have made that up herself.) (Ok, bean dip is gross, never mind)

So, dear see what you are missing? Not only are my emotions random and inconsistent, but they aren't even particularly entertaining. Oh, we lost the game last night, but that is ok.


Laura said...

I must say, you are a very entertaining writer! I wish I could write the things I feel so well - and I appreciate that you write them because it makes me feel normal when I have those same thoughts. And I'm not even pregnant! I must say, I would be totally annoyed at the intrusion in the shower ... especially after locking two doors!

Pat said...

Got to admit---I would like to read a blog entry EVERY day from you!!! I love your writing style and having known you for a while now, I know that your blogs are all truth!

Sorry that BYU lost---but look at the bright side----Utah won!

Happy-Hardings said...

i miss you, my love.

Kristin said...

I miss you my darling AmyLyn and if I was closer I would make you a bean dip and bring chips.

Amy Hanosek said...

Aww! you guys are so nice to me. You better be careful or I might follow you home like a lost puppy.

bonnie jack said...

you must write more often. you have a rare gift!