Sunday, August 3, 2008

Sundance spectacular

I know it has been a while. How are you? Have you missed me? I was on "vacation" in Park City. My "vacaction" deserves quotation marks because it was the Hanosek version of a family outing. Charlie refereed six soccer games a day while I sat around in the hotel room and local attractions trying desperately to entertain a three year old. FOR THREE DAYS. THREE. Soccer and a dirty hotel swimming pool for THREE days. I just want to make sure you understand the severity of the situation. THREE. (I feel I need to take this opportunity to say that I dearly love my husband, but the man has no idea how to take a vacation. Once I dragged him to Zion's Canyon for a weekend, thinking that at least there would be no soccer there, and he managed to turn it into a soil collecting excursion for his science lessons the following year. Grrr.)

Here's the thing I noticed about Park City. Everything looks the same. Police Station, Taco Bell, Library, Albertson's, gas stations, all dressed up like cabins as if they are in the witness protection program. I even saw a dumpster or two masquerading as Swiss chalets. Who do they think they are fooling? I know that Park City has gone all Hollywood thanks to Robert Redford, but honestly, I don't think anyone is walking around the town wishing they could find a dumpster to throw their gum into, saying to themselves "Oh, I better not throw my gum in that almost dumpster looking Swiss chalet, I'm sure it's just a tiny home for enchanted wood sprites."

The other thing that kept nagging at me on "vacation" was what if someone weren't paying attention and walked into the wrong rustic wood building. I could just see the same poor chap (in my head I am picturing Paul Schaffer, but you may picture who ever you want in this scenario, I'm not the boss of you, that's Oprah's job) So, poor Paul Schaffer is wandering into what he thinks is Burger King, hoping to find comfort in a Whopper, but he has accidently walked into the Post Office because all the buildings look exactly the same like a derranged woodsman was let loose on the city planning committee.

Now I am not an advocate of graffiti, but perhaps next time you are in Park City you can aid the population by doing your part to distinguish one building from another. Perhaps you could spray paint a happy face above the door of all fast food chains and a scowly face above all public offices, and maybe dollar signs above the hundreds of real estate agents doors.

* I just read my sister in law's comment on this and realized I forgot to mention that she rescued my sanity and took Mia to her house to have a sleep over with her cousins. She is my hero. I am going to build a shrine to her...later...when I get around to it.


Amy said...

You really should be a writer. Maybe a female version of the Dave Barry column.

I am sorry that Charlie thinks that Park City was a family vacation. I say get signed up for a cruise and Russ and I will watch Mia the whole time!

Anonymous said...

amy take a shower and cry then get cozy with a "cup" of whatever. pull it together and knock it off